Oh my. I have been wanting to share these sweet family pictures by Honeybee Photography for a while, but… ya know. Life. Newborn. Toddler. Work. House. Adulthood. Here I am about three months later, finally sharing some of the most perfect images I’ve ever seen in my life! I also wanted to give you a little peak into this perfect-for-me family that I get to hold tight every day.
How did I get here? I have a husband. Two children. An angel baby. A mortgage. Dishes that I am responsible for doing. I still feel like I’m 20 years old. The grey hair that’s poking through and the pain in my wrists and feet would say otherwise. I’ve traded in youth (I know, I know. I’m only in my early thirties. I’ve got a long way to go) for bedtime routines, diapers, and runny noses.
The adjustment from one to two children has been hard. For me, at least. Nothing stays clean, someone always needs me, and I don’t have time for myself. I’ve found myself in a weird predicament where I want time alone, but I miss my babies like crazy when I get it. Moms of more than one child – is this normal? I felt that when I had only one, but the aching and longing for equal time alone and equal time with my children has multiplied significantly.
My son is three and the most frustrating and inspiring little human I’ve ever encountered. He destroys everything he touches, but also finds a way to heal my heart and open my eyes to bigger, more important things every day.
My mom teaches piano lessons. She has had the same metronome sitting on the edge of her piano for years. I’ve heard the steady tick-tick of that rhythm keeper for over 25 years. It has seen and been touched by dozens of children. Somehow, my son managed to break it over Thanksgiving. 25 years has nothing on Porter.
He likes to pretend he’s a dog. He makes me fill bowls with water and cereal so he can eat off the floor. I also have to scratch him behind the ears. He swings the dog leash around and breaks ornaments on the Christmas tree. He throws soaking wet rags out of the bathtub and onto the bathmat, which is being washed for the third time this week. It’s Wednesday.
He kisses me for no reason. Rarely on my face. Usually on my hands, my calves (???), or my elbows. He loves his sister and tells me often that his job is to keep her safe. He loves people and is drawn to other children wherever he goes. Dinosaurs, Dash, Legos, and macaroni and cheese give him life. I see the light of Christ in his eyes. He is one of the greatest gifts this world has ever been given.
My Jane. I’ve prayed for this girl harder than anything in my life. She is an absolute miracle and a little angel on Earth. After multiple miscarriages, we found out we were pregnant with her and immediately started preventative care to keep this little nugget safe and sound inside Mama’s tummy.
Blood draws, progesterone shots through the first trimester, and lots of doctors appointments were tough. She was worth it. Every poke, prod, examination was worth it.
I’ve often wondered what heaven’s like. When the doctor handed me our Jane, I got a small glimpse. Complete, absolute, and perfect joy wrapped up in a little girl with zero hair and crazy long fingers. You are loved more than you will ever know, Jane.
He is the master of play and only gets better with age. When I married this guy who is three years younger than me, I knew I’d have a life full of fun. 3.5 years into graduate school have been hard. That’s the truth. With 1.5 years to go, we see the end in sight and we both couldn’t be happier about it!
He was born to be a father and knocks that job out of the park. He works all day at school learning to be an amazing psychologist, only to come home to do more of the same. He listens, he guides, and he comforts everyone in the home. He is pretty close to perfect.
He leaves his socks out. All the time. He insists on cooking dinner, pretending it’s because he loves to cook but the reality is that he doesn’t think my food tastes good enough. He takes the longest showers ever. He unloads the dishwasher and leaves about 1/3 of the dishes on the counter because he “doesn’t know where they go.” As soon I leave the room, he turns my show off and replaces it with his own.
He folds the laundry every week. He unloads the dishwasher every day. He plays with Porter as soon as he gets home and spends his evenings up late writing papers for school. He serves faithfully at church and leads our little family in prayer morning and night. He goes to Costco with both kids so I can stay home to work and clean. He pretends he doesn’t see the weight I’ve gained from three pregnancies. He encourages me to take time for myself and showers me with love and praise.
Ellie has had a hard time adjusting to our growing family. She was our first love. Our first baby. She rips open the trash while we are gone, eats food off of the table when we aren’t looking, and gets dog hair EVERYWHERE. She also has the sweetest, squishiest face and so much love to give.
We have a perfect angel baby waiting for us in heaven. Noel, we can’t wait to see you again and have you in our arms forever. Until then, we will fill our days with lots of love, messes, and adventure.
To my followers and brides – anyone who is reading this, really, I want you to know that I’m a real person. I struggle so hard. I cry a lot. I am having some serious postpartum right now and often feel like a failure for everything I’m not doing. I also have dreams and passions. I love creating through flowers and meeting new brides and making their floral dreams come true. I’m passionate about working with other creatives and hearing their stories and growing in my skills with them. I’m still figuring out the work/life/mom/wife/friend/everything balance, but I think I’m doing an ok job.
If you need me, I’ll be nestled in this little corner rocking my baby, watching my toddler scatter Legos all over the baby’s nursery and dreaming of my wedding empire that might only ever exist in my head.